Below are the most recent 4 friends' journal entries.

Monday, December 21st, 2009
suicidesupport [ silent_4_now ]	8:52p	how it feels The relief I feel from cutting my wrist, is like standing on a cold day in your bathing suit then dipping your foot into a nice warm spa. this is how it felt last time I cut my wrist. It was really shallow so I don't know weather or not I was thinking I wanted to die or not. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, December 20th, 2009
suicidesupport [ takotsubo35 ]	1:18a	i wouldn't exactly call it suicidal, but i don't really know what it would be called. my life just continues on the days keep passing and i keep pushing on because i don't know what else to do and it's the only way to continue but the purpose of it all seems increasingly pointless not that it even seems like there is a purpose i don't know what to do i'm leading a life that i don't really want and i'm wondering if it's even worth carrying on and lately i've had fascinations with suicides and murders wanting to know what happened wishing i could have been there and know what the people were thinking this in combination with my life which seems to be meaningless only makes me wonder more if i should only have a 30 year journey i'm 22 now and when i think about it i really don't know if i want to get old and the thought of still being stuck 'here' 10 years down the road... it all seems kind of pointless to me so as i said before i don't really know if it can be called suicidal but i've been thinking about putting an end to the pointlessness by the time i'm 30 (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 15th, 2009
suicidesupport [ bernie12 ]	2:13a	anyone listening? I am here because I am stuck between 2 world.s . I am dying on the inside. I grew up and even in now in college to be the popular girl. The girl who works so hard and maintains grades in school and yet has a social life. Yet noone knows ow I have been taken advantage of on 2 occassiopns and in one of them resulting being pregnant in which is the only I would allow myself to go thru an abortion which has traumatized me because I wish I hadnt most of the time yet how am I suppose to explain to my baby that her/his dad is an evil man and have her possibly feel guilty for even being born from such a situation. How am I suppose to explain to other my situation and tha ti am not a dumb chick who got knocked up.??? I also care for an ex who is not part of my life anymore. For some reason its been a LONNGGG time and I cant get over him and I cant get over how I never got closure but I do not go after him. I have dated many after him but everyone just uses me in some way or another. Like i am a prize that they can do whatever with. Then the other arent interesting enough for me and dont want to force something and hurt them though guys dont deserve it. I dont believe in love or well am scared of wha tit brings. EVERY TIME I attempted (twice maybe 3 times) to tell someone my feeling that were of that intensity, as soon as I am out with my true feelings the relationship ends. So I can never speak the truth if it always ends up getting ruined. I used to be a 4.0 type of student and am very smart & yet my grades suffer yet noone notices. I gain soooo much weigth right before getting pregnant and then gained a lot more afterwards and I am depressed because I was the HOT girl that everyone wanted and at least in that I could distract myself with that. I could enjoy wearing whatever sinc eI love fashion but I dont even have that anymore. Guys think I am ugly becauseI am fat. I dont get the same attention. Though I have recieved bad attention too bcuz of it (aka my rapes) but I dunno I am pursuing a career in physical fitness so how cud I do this.? And a roommate last yr stole a lot and money & my credit sucks now and I havent paid my debt in a long time becaus eI have only myself to provide. And everyone who I thought wer emy friends are not around like before. Many of my girlfriends live with their bf or always with them an dI am left behind. I can speak t them as I did before. And a bunch of other things keep happening. Theres SO much more. but this is long enough. I just feel like noone cares. So If I let myself slip away, who would care? who would even notice? yes this supposed "sadness" will be the trend for like max a month. After that, "the show must go on..." and so everyone will keep with their lives and i will be a mere memory. I never as alone as I do now. I wanted to end it all when I was in 5th grade and attempted with pills. But nothing happened and I was just knocked for like 12 hrs in a weekend and my parents didnt even notice. IN FIFTH GRADE!!! but since then I put on a charade and was th ePERFECT daughter, friend, student, coworker, employee, aquaintance, etc. Everyone would see me as someone ful of life. And sometiem sI bought into that character I played. But now its back and with full of vengance for not being able to take me over before. I just want to talk to someone who understands... (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 8th, 2009
suicidesupport [ mcrforthewin ]	11:13p	my name is Emma, I'm 17 and I haven't posted to this community yet.but there are some things I need help with. I was homeschooled for a while and then I tried going to a special high school with depression and anxiety.then I went to a public high school,the first day I went everyone were being assholes to me.so I stopped that and went to GED classes.but there was this guy that was in his 60's or 70's that gave me a flower and sat by me,when I usually sit alone and don't talk to anyone. I just tried concentraiting on my work.So I stopped that and now I see a theripist for people with forms of autism because my family thinks I have aspergers. She acts like I'm mentally retarded. I seriously have no friends.the only ones I have are online friends that are too busy for me. I live in a town where theres nothing to do and I literally live in a corn field. I was never happy one year of my life. Its just that for the past few years I've felt suicidal and I've stayed at a mental hospital that seriously almost killed me.I've tried every anti-depressant and most of them have fucked up my mind in a bad way. My family has been treating me like shit and they just argue at each other. I like never get out of the house.I'm mostly trapped in my room everyday. I just feel like a ghost because no one talks to me anymore or texts/calls me. it feels like I don't exsist anymore. Current Mood: depressed (4 Comments |Comment on this)